The Bird

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"I'm discriminated against," he moaned as he walked back to his apartment. "They want me to fail because they can't handle an intelligent bird."

Half-blind drunk, he stayed up and typed for the rest of the night.

In the morning he found that not only had he pissed the bed, but the typewriter was filled with illegible nonsense. Choking back his nausea and tears, he told himself that it was cutting-edge work. "It'll shock the critics," he said. "It'll be huge on the campuses." Then he mixed himself a tall glass of toilet bowl cleaner and coke, drank it down, and went back to his piss-soaked bed. The End. Page One Page Two Page Three The Bird, Page Four