What matters is how he feels, and he is not feeling well at all. He has a lot of regret, and he blames himself for what went on before this. It doesn't matter exactly what went on, but we will say that it involved a broken engagement, two broken hearts, and the breaking point of long, long build-up of unhappiness on the part of our new friend Evans.

So we have our man Evans, who is new to the city of Toronto. Why Toronto? It is the biggest city within easy reach, and he assumed within a big city he could disappear. He hasn't passed his new contact information along to his family or friends, and has not been in touch with his former fiancee, who, as you can imagine, is quite upset. He doesn't check his old e-mail address. He wants to just drop off the face of the Earth.

Evans has Buddy, whose real name is Mike, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that Evans knew Buddy in university, and Evans knew he could find Buddy in Toronto, and that he could trust Buddy. So when Evans snapped (is there another word for it?) and ran away from the responsibilities he so hated and the relationship that was so disinteresting for him, he tracked down Buddy and the two went for beers together and commiserated. Buddy was always kind of a down guy, and so could always sympathize with those in a down spot.

What matters now is that we have Evans, staying in a shit-bag apartment, faking a smile long enough to get a night-time data entry job to pay for his shit-bag apartment, and generally feeling miserable, waiting for his life to get better. Because there is one thing that we have not yet mentioned about our man Evans, and it's an important fact, although it may have made itself apparent already: our man Evans is depressed.

We pick up the story at The Hornet, a university crowd pub downtown. Evans arrived first and stood alone at the bar, drinking down pints of beer waiting for Buddy. He's on his third when his friend arrives.

Buddy knows that Evans is depressed. He knows that his friend ran away from his problems at home instead of facing them, and he knows his friend needs help. He wants to cheer Evans up. He wants to help him find a social life in the city. That's why he invited him to this particular bar on this particular night. Buddy runs in the arts crowd, and a collection of his acquaintances are meeting there. And Buddy, in his relatively youthful naivete, believes that most of a man's problems can be solved by meeting a girl (even when the man with a problem recently fled like a coward from a wonderful girl who had already agreed to marry him). But Buddy thinks he can best help Evans by introducing him to some women. Evans is not aware of these plans.

So we have Evans, looking very much like the rest of the university kids in the crowd, six feet tall with sandy hair, brown jacket over a t-shirt with faded jeans, thin, no more handsome than anyone else there, half drunk when Buddy arrives to help him find a girlfriend, not really understanding how totally heartbroken Evans really is.

When Buddy arrives he greets his friend and tells him to move to the back of the bar where his other friends are. Evans goes along, and the two of them end up at a table with a bunch of other kids, all early twenties, all art community kids. This isn't the scene Evans was looking for. He wanted quiet beers with his friend.

This is exactly the scene Buddy was hoping for. There are a lot of cool people here, and he knows that, even though he's dug himself into a deep hole right now, Evans is a cool guy too, and it would be great if he could meet some other cool people.

"I thought we were just having a beer," Evans says when Buddy leads him to the table.

"It's okay," Buddy says. "These are good people. Give them a chance. If you're not having fun we can take off."

Buddy introduces Evans around to the others at the table. This is Laurie, and she's a student. Laurie's cute, wear's little round glasses. This is Kevin, and he works on set construction for a production company, but he's really a painter. He's got a long beard. This is Carrie, and she works in a book store, but she's really an arts journalist, etc, etc. Evans gives little smiles and shakes hands with people, but mostly he takes sips on his beer.

Carrie is stuck across the table from Evans, and when suddenly there's no conversation for her to participate in, she starts one with him: "So, what do you do?"

He takes a deep breath. "I'm not really sure," he says and gives her a shy smile. "I'm still trying to work that out."

"Oh. Are you in school?" She's a pretty girl with a black bob haircut and ice-blue eyes. He knows he should want to talk to her. It's a shame that he knows he's no good to talk to right now.

"No, I'm finished school. I just moved to the city but I don't really know what I want to do." A lie, he thinks to himself. He knows what he wants to do, and it involves a noose. No, he thinks again. Not really.

The conversation stalls. She's pretty, he thinks to himself, but there's another girl that's also pretty and he left her behind for no good reason. "Excuse me," Evans says, drains his beer, and steps away from the table. He moves to the back of the room, and steps out onto the patio. He lights up a cigarette.

To his surprise, Carrie joins him. "Hey," she says. She pulls a pack from her jacket pocket and lights her own cigarette.

"Hello," he says, and wonders if he's being friendly. Should I be friendlier? Am I being friendly enough? So friendly that she wanted to join me? Or did she just want a smoke as well?

"You don't look like you're enjoying yourself very much," she says.

He smiles a little and shrugs. "I wasn't expecting a crowd tonight."

"Like the quiet nights?" Her jean jacket is covered in sew-on patched of various sixties and seventies bands. Kitschy-cool.

He smiles again, wondering if he actually wants to be asked questions. He wonders if he actually wants to talk at all. Then he decides, what the hell, why not. "No. Well, sometimes. I don't know. I guess I just wasn't expecting to have to talk with people."

She laughs. "You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to."

"No, it's okay. I don't mean to be rude. I'm just in a strange place. Um, what about you?"

She shrugs. "What about me?"

Now he laughs. "Um. Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Sure. Is this like, the most awkward conversation you've ever had, or is it just me?"

He smiles and nods. "It's up there."

They finish their cigarettes and go back inside, get fresh beers and end up sitting off to the side by themselves. They manage to talk for a good hour without giving away too much about themselves. Evans especially is reticent about discussing why he's just moved to Toronto. So they talk about the music that's playing in the bar and other music and pop culture crap. They talk, and when Evans finishes beer number five he decides he had better get out of there. He says good night to Carrie and then goes over to the table where Buddy is sitting and says good night to him.

Outside of The Hornet Evans lights another cigarette. He thinks to himself that if he had asked Carrie for her phone number she would have given it to him. When he thinks of that, he also thinks of Trish, the girl he left behind. At that moment, he thinks about hanging himself. The sudden urge to die, brought forward by his endless shame and regret, passes quickly. Evans takes a drag on his cigarette and starts walking home.